In his New York Times-bestselling memoir Over the Top, Jonathan van Ness showed readers how the incredibly difficult moments from his life (surviving sexual abuse and addiction, being diagnosed with HIV) have existed alongside great joy and positivity (landing a breakout role on Netflix’s Queer Eye, becoming an amateur figure skater and professional standup comedian, doting on his five cats).

If Jonathan learned anything from the painful life experiences, it’s that in order to thrive, he needed to push past the shame and fear of being his true self, which meant getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. In this candid and curious essay collection, he takes a thoughtful, in-depth look at today’s hot-button issues, viewed through the lens of his personal experience. From the evolution of his signature style to an investigative report on the queer history of his hometown, Jonathan reflects on his life and how he has learned to embrace change—doing the work to challenge internalized beliefs, finding compassion and confidence, and learning more about what makes us all so messy and gorgeous.

Balancing the dark and the light, the serious and the madcap, these essays allow us to examine our individual assumptions, expand our horizons, and give ourselves permission to be the flawed and fabulous humans we are.