On her first night in America, Kay sits on the tarmac of John F. Kennedy International Airport, trying to make an inventory of all the things she left behind in India: her parents, her grandparents, her best friend, and her gaslighting ex-boyfriend. Staring out at New York’s flickering city lights, she realizes two things: that the abuse she escaped has created gaping holes in her memory, and that she feels no sadness at leaving her old life behind—only relief and guilt.

Thus begins a thought-provoking exploration of one woman’s search for self as she navigates the long-lasting effects of the trauma that continue to haunt her even as she finds comfort in the unfamiliarity of New York City. As Kay settles into her new life and reconnects to her culture and heritage through her family’s favorite love language—food—her personal experiences become a window through which to reflect on the new society she finds herself in. Her newfound solace is shaken when she discovers her ex had been seeing other women while cohabitating with her, yet the shock of that further betrayal also holds in it the courage Kay needs to look at her past, one last time.

At once heartbreaking and uplifting, This Beautiful, Ridiculous City is a love letter to New York City through the eyes of a woman as complex as the city itself—an immigrant, a survivor, a writer, a foodie, and ultimately, an optimist. Interwoven with insightful commentary and riveting illustrations, this contemplative graphic memoir explores the relationship between trauma and truth, displacement and belonging, and what it means to forge a life of one’s own.